Thoughts On Moving and Other Relevant Things
As I said in my last post, I have to move. This is the absolute wrong place for me to live. I don't see any way at present to get out of my lease, so I have to stay until it is up. My lease ends on July 31, so I have time, but I have already started looking. I know where I want to live, I just have to figure out how to get there and get a place.
In the meantime, I have to DO something. I've been so depressed that I've not done anything constructive toward moving except order moving boxes. I wish I had not done that, because at the time, I was considering moving in 3 months, but now I have more time and could get boxes for free from the grocery store. Still, they are here now, so I will use them.
I have to start going through boxes, sorting and repacking them. This is my least favorite thing to do in the whole world, so I really should do a couple of boxes a day so I don't put it off until the last minute. I started doing that when I got here, and got through a few boxes.
I also have to start making some serious money. December is a bad month for that, as writing work tends to almost completely dry up sometime toward the end of the month due to people closing out their books for the year. I simply must start working very hard right now to make up for that slow time. I'm not motivated at all, so I'm just going to discipline myself, which is not easy for me, as I really have no discipline to speak of.
Downsizing Even More
All in all, I'm just exhausted by all of this crap. All I want is a place to settle into for a long time, and I can't seem to find it. I've never been one to move around a lot, but it seems that unless I find a way to make a lot of money every month, I'm going to be nomadic forever. That isn't likely to happen, so I'll have to get rid of even more stuff. I just don't know what else to let go of.
Right now, I've lost so much, I'm clinging to every little piece of anything that brings back memories of happier times.Logically, I know that if I let it all go, I'll have more peace of mind, but like most hoarders, it's like cutting off a limb to part with it. The "What if I need it down the road?" gets me every time.
I'm going to put a HUGE sign up on my bedroom wall that says "DO ONE THING." It doesn't matter what that one thing is, I just need to do it. Then do one more thing, then one more. Write one article, do one hit on MTurk, sort through one box -- just one thing -- then do one more.
The problem, as always, is getting started.
In the meantime, I have to DO something. I've been so depressed that I've not done anything constructive toward moving except order moving boxes. I wish I had not done that, because at the time, I was considering moving in 3 months, but now I have more time and could get boxes for free from the grocery store. Still, they are here now, so I will use them.
I have to start going through boxes, sorting and repacking them. This is my least favorite thing to do in the whole world, so I really should do a couple of boxes a day so I don't put it off until the last minute. I started doing that when I got here, and got through a few boxes.
I also have to start making some serious money. December is a bad month for that, as writing work tends to almost completely dry up sometime toward the end of the month due to people closing out their books for the year. I simply must start working very hard right now to make up for that slow time. I'm not motivated at all, so I'm just going to discipline myself, which is not easy for me, as I really have no discipline to speak of.
Downsizing Even More
All in all, I'm just exhausted by all of this crap. All I want is a place to settle into for a long time, and I can't seem to find it. I've never been one to move around a lot, but it seems that unless I find a way to make a lot of money every month, I'm going to be nomadic forever. That isn't likely to happen, so I'll have to get rid of even more stuff. I just don't know what else to let go of.
Right now, I've lost so much, I'm clinging to every little piece of anything that brings back memories of happier times.Logically, I know that if I let it all go, I'll have more peace of mind, but like most hoarders, it's like cutting off a limb to part with it. The "What if I need it down the road?" gets me every time.
I'm going to put a HUGE sign up on my bedroom wall that says "DO ONE THING." It doesn't matter what that one thing is, I just need to do it. Then do one more thing, then one more. Write one article, do one hit on MTurk, sort through one box -- just one thing -- then do one more.
The problem, as always, is getting started.
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