Around and Around and Around on the Merry-go-round That Is My Life
This move was a huge mistake. I wanted more for less and got more than I could handle. The noise level in this neighborhood is unbearable. If it isn't hip-hop or rap music so loud that the bass is shaking my windows, it's people screaming out in the streets or dogs that bark incessantly all night long. I was wearing headphones listening to white noise to drown it out, but started having headaches, so now I run my window a/c fan all day and night.
There are things going on here that I cannot talk about. Suffice to say, I stay in my house, don't talk to anyone and only go out to shop, wash clothes or run essential errands. I have no desire to work in the yard. I barely have the desire to keep the plants I have planted alive. I haven't unpacked anything else after I unpacked the essentials, and don't plan to.
I can't stay here, that is clear. I asked my landlord if he would let me out of my lease if I found him a suitable tenant, and give me back my deposit, but he said no. I don't want to be trapped here for a year. I don't think that I can take it mentally. I am exploring legal avenues that could get me out without losing any money, because I can't afford to walk away from $575.
My father always said things turn out the way they are supposed to, but I can't imagine why I was supposed to live here. I haven't learned anything except that what they say about the ghetto is true, and you don't want to live there if you can help it. I moved here because I wanted a place with more diversity, but this isn't what I had in mind. I used to hate living with just old people around, but at least they are quiet and law-abiding. I really don't know where I want to go, but it isn't here.
I'm so tired of moving. If I move again before this lease is up, it will be three moves in one year. Moving drains me completely for months. It's something I really don't want to do again, but I will have to, and it's making me extremely depressed.
I never thought my life would turn out like this. I just wanted to have a home again. This feels more like a prison.
There are things going on here that I cannot talk about. Suffice to say, I stay in my house, don't talk to anyone and only go out to shop, wash clothes or run essential errands. I have no desire to work in the yard. I barely have the desire to keep the plants I have planted alive. I haven't unpacked anything else after I unpacked the essentials, and don't plan to.
I can't stay here, that is clear. I asked my landlord if he would let me out of my lease if I found him a suitable tenant, and give me back my deposit, but he said no. I don't want to be trapped here for a year. I don't think that I can take it mentally. I am exploring legal avenues that could get me out without losing any money, because I can't afford to walk away from $575.
My father always said things turn out the way they are supposed to, but I can't imagine why I was supposed to live here. I haven't learned anything except that what they say about the ghetto is true, and you don't want to live there if you can help it. I moved here because I wanted a place with more diversity, but this isn't what I had in mind. I used to hate living with just old people around, but at least they are quiet and law-abiding. I really don't know where I want to go, but it isn't here.
I'm so tired of moving. If I move again before this lease is up, it will be three moves in one year. Moving drains me completely for months. It's something I really don't want to do again, but I will have to, and it's making me extremely depressed.
I never thought my life would turn out like this. I just wanted to have a home again. This feels more like a prison.
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