So It Has Come to This

As you know, I'm going to be leaving this house when my lease is up Aug. 1. It is far too expensive to live here with the $300 utility bills and not even being able to use the front of my house because of the noise from outside.

I want to go back to SW Florida, but it is increasingly looking like I wont' be able to do that because I won't be able to save enough money. To top it all off, a filling just fell out of my front tooth, and the dentist says he can't replace it, that I have to get a cap, which I can't afford and still move.

I made a costly mistake a couple of months ago. I wanted to try to rebuild my credit and was told I was guaranteed approval for a PayPal credit card, so I applied -- and was denied. I had struggled for years to get my credit score back over 600 after medical bills destroyed it, but now it's back under 600 and I don't know if I will qualify for any type of housing at all.

I'm considering living in a tent for a few months. I know that sounds insane, but I have a really nice tent. I'd have to buy new poles for it and a tarp to keep the rain out, but I have everything else I would need. I could work at the library and save all my money to get a place. It would be tough in August with the heat, but I think I could survive, and right now, survival is what it is all about, right?


I don't know how I came to this. I don't want to go on sometimes. I know there are a lot of people worse off than me, but I still just hate that I have to live like this, or even  CONSIDER living like this. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so depressed and feel so hopeless.